Quick Bites: Noisy Oyster

📍 Location: Tucked down a cobbled Shoreditch street
💸 Bill: ~£70 for 2 (light bites + drinks + service)
🥂 Order: 6 oysters, fries, filthy martinis

The Vibe:
Industrial chic meets sci-fi— bare concrete walls, high ceilings, and industrial piping accented by lime-green pops. Custom silver chairs (that look cold but are secretly padded) steal the show.

The Food:
Oysters arrived on a stand that echoed the metallic décor, served with lemon, shallot vinaigrette, and a hot sauce dropper — stylish, if a little robotic. The six included two varieties, carefully explained by our server. Fries came dusted with Tajín, definitely worth getting one portion per person.

The Feel:
Noisy Oyster sits firmly on the “chef knows best” end of dining— curated, tweaks highly discouraged. Not a complaint: if I wanted total control, I’d cook at home.

Verdict:
Futuristic chic, martinis worth sipping, and oysters that feel like an experience. Go for the vibe, stay for the cocktails — and for that fleeting feeling that you’ve stepped into the lair of stylish villains from a distant-future movie.

• Food: 7.8

• Drinks: 8

• Atmosphere: 7

• Service: 8.6

• Value: 7

Overall Rating: 7.7

WORTH IT